MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY ______________________ This is and isn’t a book about speaking in public. It is, rather, a book about awareness — the awareness that every time you open This book is also about the awareness that what you put forth is what you will get back; the awareness that you can’t be someone on stage that you are not offstage; that how you listen will determine how you are perceived as a speaker. This book is about the awareness that success is secondary to significance. If your heart is open and your intentions clear, success will find you as you seek significance. Care less about the outcome and more about your actions. The outcome will take care of itself if you take care of your choices. But most of all, this book is about becoming aware of your own voice. This means going within, for that is where your own true voice is to be found. You will not find it in books, nor in seminars. You will not find your voice in how others see you, but in how you see yourself. This book will make you aware that facts and figures don’t persuade. Passion does! Discovering your passion is intimately linked to finding your voice. They feed each other. They live side by side. When you craft a talk about which you are passionate, you become the expert; you become the leader. If your notes were to blow away, you would not be derailed for the story would still be within you. And for a story to be arresting, it must derive from your insights—yours and yours alone. No one else creates your point of view. And no one else speaks in your voice. When you know what is important to you, what values you hold dear, what your purpose is, you sparkle. No one can sparkle for you. Sparkle comes from within. So does conviction; so, too, confidence. Confidence can be learned—but not from a book. Confidence comes from living. It comes from absorbing life’s lessons and from being tested by life’s obstacles. Certainly, much has been written about confidence—how to get it, how to project it, how to act it. But know this: You cannot apply confidence as if it were makeup; you cannot treat it as a shield to hide your flaws. Either you own it, or you don’t. You can’t fake it, make it, or break it. You can, however, become aware of your negative thinking, get out of the way, and allow yourself to transform your fear into your forte. Allowing is so very different from forcing. It is also the key to your success. Why is this so? The more you force something, the more you battle with it. Here, the battle is internal, which means that a part of you must lose for another part of you to win. This, in turn, means that one part of you is always having to suppress another. And the more you suppress something, the more it eventually shows up elsewhere. We can’t rid ourselves of what we suppress. We will always be subservient to it until we meet it head on. Keep in mind that battling involves resistance; there is no battle when your opponent simply steps aside. So when your ego steps aside, when your fears are distracted by your engagement in something that gives you joy, there is no need for battle. When you allow your fears to drop away, you stop doing battle. You acknowledge the fears, and you move ahead despite them. You put your attention elsewhere. You relax into knowing what you know. Then you don’t have to fake anything. You are at peace and at home within yourself. That is the true definition of confidence. When it comes to public speaking, fear is a spiritual malady. It’s not the same as coming face-to-face with a snake or with someone who’s pointing a gun at you. The fear of speaking before others originates in your imagination—not in your reality. It must, therefore, be dealt with on a spiritual plane. All the pointers, tips, and tricks in the world—helpful though they may be—will not quell your fears if you don’t find peace within, where these fears originate. This book, then, is not a formula for success in public speaking. Others have tackled that subject. This book is a guide to understanding your own outlook. How you look at the world will determine how the world looks at you—both on the podium and off. And once you commit to looking within before you speak, others can’t help but notice the power of your vision and the passion in your voice. “I am an old man and have known Saskia’s wonderful book is available on her website: “Saskia’s book is as much a guide for living as it is for communicating and communing in any situation with the magic of presence. I was so re-energized by her suggestion to “seek significance…and success will follow.” And for all of us busy types, I really appreciated the 3-4 page chapters and the pithy, punchy, paradoxical language that makes every other sentence leap off the page right into your heart, mind and soul!” ________________________ Until our blog is up, please feel free to send your comments about this subject to milestonesecards@aol.com |
